Are you ready to learn the most important secret to a happy marriage? I can almost guarantee you that you are going to like it. The problem is it’s not natural to any of us but if we will just practice it on a daily basis our marriages can be happy and fulfilling.

The “secret” actually comes in two parts. The first part is commitment. To have a happy and successful marriage you must be 100% committed to having a happy and successful marriage. That sounds simple but it can be very difficult. You must be willing to do the work to improve your marriage even if you spouse is not on board at the moment. Tell yourself that failure is not an option here. You are all in. Commit today to be happy and have a happy marriage.

The second part is the meat of this secret. Here it is: “Always Put Your Spouse First.”

You may fear that if you don’t focus on your wants and needs then no one will! I understand that fear. Trust me, if you focus on your spouse and their needs you will probably be doubly blessed! When your spouse sees you are trying to put them first and take care of their needs then they will usually reciprocate enthusiastically! Plus, you will feel good helping your spouse and doing things for them.

Ask yourself how you can bless your spouse today. Then do it. Look for ways to help your spouse. It might mean doing the dishes or folding the laundry. It might mean taking your spouse out to dinner or spending some quality time together. You know what your spouse likes. Do something everyday to bless your spouse.

There are two ways to go about a marriage. One is to think about your needs; the other is to concentrate on the needs of your spouse. If each partner is selfish the relationship will bring disappointment, resentment and bitterness. On the other hand if each person looks to fill each others needs before their own the marriage will bring mutual satisfaction and gratefulness and joy.

Even if your spouse is not putting your needs first you still should put their needs first. As you look for way to bless your spouse and put a smile on his or her face they will start to notice and will begin to reciprocate. Trust me.

Do an act of kindness today for your spouse. Look for ways to put them first. That is the most important secret to a happy marriage.